Courtney Coffey Podcast

Intro: Welcome to Get Unstuck Podcast, a podcast filled with helpful information and stories from professionals who work with people trying to get unstuck in life. Each episode delivers empowering information and resources to support our mission that there is a way out of being stuck.

Now, here’s your host, Jenny from getUNSTUCKinLIFE.com.

Jenny: Hi, this is Jenny from Get Unstuck Podcast. I am very excited about our guest tonight. It’s Courtney Coffey from CourtneyCoffey.com. So, welcome Courtney!

Courtney: Hi! Thank you for having me.

Jenny: Yeah, I am so excited to hear and learn more about you, what you do more with clients since. So, why don’t we start with, what’s your story? What brought you to the work that you do today?

Courtney: Yeah, of course! So, my name is Courtney Coffey. I’m an actor as well as a mindset coach for performing artists and I help them kind of, overcome creative and mindset blocks they can achieve their career goals and the way I got into that is actually, I’m originally from Virginia. I’m in Los Angeles now. But I’m from Virginia and I went to college in Virginia and I’ve always acting, dancing, performing, all that.

So, I got my degree in theatre performance, as well as Media, Arts & Design which is a film program basically and once I graduated, I moved to Los Angeles. But when I moved here, I had no place to live, I had no money, I had no plan. I was just like, “I’m just going to go to L.A. I’ve always wanted to go to L.A.  So, I’m going to go.” So, that’s what I did.

But immediately when I got here, things kind of took a turn for the worst. I, my first week here, I went for dance class and I got injured. So, I could not walk, definitely couldn’t dance, couldn’t audition anymore during that. And then I began to convince myself, you know, that I didn’t actually want to be an actor. It was actually me having those limiting beliefs that I wasn’t good enough to make it in a city with a bunch of different actors, a bunch of different people trying to make it. But, I-I tried to convince myself that I-I wasn’t special enough to make it in the industry and so, therefore, I did not want to be a part of the industry anymore.

And that led to a sort of depression. It led to an identity crisis. [laughs] It led to me going through the cycle of just hating where I was at, going day to day doing some sort of routine that I knew was not aligned with me. And-and-and living a life that I knew I didn’t want to live. And so then, after that, lockdown happened. The COVID-19 pandemic happened and it forced me to spend time with myself, [laughs] which is not something I did a lot before, you know. I kept myself distracted by keeping myself busy. I would just like, you know, with friends or I’d stay at work really long or-or whatever. I just didn’t want to spend time with myself.

But when we’re forced inside, I was forced to pay attention to my feelings and break down those walls that I hadn’t breakdown like, who and what identified as. And so I began to spend time with myself, a journal that- did a lot of shadow work, which is just a lot of inner work, cried a lot [laughs] and I began to pull myself out of this depression. I began to remember, you know, who I was as an artist, who I was as a person, what I actually wanted, and convinced myself that I was good enough to do it. Because like, if I had these desires, that means, it’s not for me, right?

So-so, I began to work on that and so, from there, I got back into acting classes, slowly did dance classes, I was still injured. But, slowly started moving again, reached out to reps., got reps., started auditioning, and slowly started booking and-and-and getting the jobs that I knew I was meant for. And then after that, I realized you know, like, a lot of performing artists struggle with that, they believe that we’re not good enough, or that we will never make it, or that isn’t an impossible way to make money and to live. And so, I was like, “If I struggle with this and came out of it on the other side with this method that I created, then I can help other people do the same thing a lot faster than I did.” So, that’s how my business was born. [laughs]

Jenny: Oh, what a-what a great story in that. You faced those challenges yourself and you went into yourself in word and worked on them, and then you came through to the other side. So now you can, you know, help other people say, “I’ve been on that side. Now I’ve come to the other side and I can help you make it through also.”

Courtney: Yeah. Yeah, that’s what it’s all about helping each other, right?

Jenny: Yeah! And it’s so great that you can relate to the life of somebody who wants to be a performing artist. Because it’s very different in other professions, right? It’s a different calling, it’s different, you know, lifestyle, it’s-it’s, and you know, it’s different because you-you had me to work with other people and as you said, go to auditions and perform and things like that. So, you can relate to them too, which is really wonderful.

Courtney: Yeah! Yeah, for sure. It’s definitely different. There’s no, like, linear path when it comes to entertainment, when it comes to the arts, you know. Everyone gets into it differently and everyone has a different relationship with their art because we’re all unique artists. It’s not like, something that you go and you punch a time card and you do the same thing on a conveyor belt, sort of job. So, it’s-it’s very unique and you have to approach it that way.

Jenny: Right. And you really, the, you are that your own brand, right?

Courtney: Mhm.

Jenny: So, when you look at the marketing from that perspective, everything is how you show up matters, right? You can’t hide behind a laptop, you can’t hide behind a book or something like that. It’s you who is showing up. So my answer would be so critical in being successful.

Courtney: It-It’s critical in the arts. That’s why so many artists actually end up quitting after being in the industry because their mindset is all around them, trying to impress other people, people-pleasing, not thinking that they’re good enough, etc. So, yeah. It’s-

Jenny: Yeah, and when you watch something like the Academy Awards and you see actors saying, “When I was 7 years old, I imagine myself up here and here I am now.” right? And you-you kind of go, “Oh, they had this dream and they followed it. Look where they are now.” right? So-

Courtney: Exactly.

Jenny: Pretty exciting. So let’s share a little bit more about your approach, your methodology, and how you work with your clients.

Courtney: Yeah! So, my approach is very unique because we all have different ways, yeah. We all have different ways to use our energy and so I like combined tools. [laughs] So, the first thing I use is REBT, which is Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. I’m certified in that and that’s just a form of mindset shifting, helping-helping clients understand the problems or the beliefs that they have, the underlying beliefs in going through all 3 levels of thinking from, the subconscious to the conscious mind, to begin to shift those beliefs.

But I would say, some of the most effective methods that I use in my method is having clients write their own story, their own self-view, how they feel now and then using human design to-to explain what their unique energetic fingerprint is and human design combines astrology, Chinese I Ching, the Kupala, the shockers and quantum mechanics to give you more insight into your cell, your life path, your personality, and higher energy is best used in the world. So, everyone that I’ve used it on is like, well that’s so accurate. [laughs] So, that helps a ton, and then it’s all about my triple E formula which combines all of those things which is establish, energy, and empower. So, it- all of those things kind of creates this unique energetic formula to help people work through their mindset shifts and work through their underlying beliefs on their own terms.

Jenny: That’s such a great methodology occurs using different tools in your toolkit where people can reflect and see who they are and what you, I think what you said was their-there, how they operate in the world is that correct, something like that?

Courtney: Yeah! Everyone’s energy is different. So, some people thrive working, you know, 8 hours a day, doing steady work. But some people, you know, work in bursts. Some people work like they need days off, some people don’t. So, yeah, everyone’s different.

Jenny: That’s great and so, part of that is going through their human design. I think it’s called a profile, is that correct?

Courtney: Yeah. So, the profile is part of it. But, your type is like your-your energetic type. So, there are 5 different types. There’s manifester, manifesting generator, generator, reflector, and projector. And so, all those 5 different types are-are different ways that we use our energy in the world to kind of, live the most aligned like that we’re meant to lea- lead.

Jenny: Right. So, once that person identified with what that is and you help identify like you said, their lifestyle, how they can use that to shift their mindset?

Courtney: Mhm, yeah. I mean you incorporate that into all areas you have been like, right?

Jenny: That’s-that’s so great. So, why don’t you share some stories of maybe, of how you work with some clients and how you help them shift their mindset.

Courtney: Yeah! So, I actually want to tell you about one case in particular. It was an actress that I worked with and a singer. But, she had this belief that she was too old to start acting, which is something that a lot of people actually do believe and that’s something I thought through myself, I’m 25 and I was like, “too old to even start but, I am so young somehow. [laughs] You’re not too old.” But she had this belief that she was too old to start. She didn’t think she was talented enough to compete with other actors in her arena and she wasn’t confident in her abilities and she’s very-very talented singer and actress. But, she just didn’t feel like the industry had any space for her, you know. She felt like there are other people like her that overshadowed her.

So I begin to work with her. We wrote her story, we wrote like, how she sees herself, what she wants but why she thinks she can never get it at this point in her life and then we dove into her human design and we dove into the life that she wants to create. So, that’s part of it, identifying what you actually want to create. And so, after going all of that, through all of that with her, there were some major changes and they were like very fast like it was crazy.

She actually, only 2 weeks after we started working together actually, she started posting stuff on TikTok and Instagram her performances and from that people discovered her. So, she found her raps, and from that, she booked a national tour of a-a musical. She booked a national tour from her videos and from people finding her videos on TikTok and Instagram. And then from there, her career has just blossomed and continued and-and that’s the magic of what, just shifting yourself here and your mindset can do for you. So, that’s just totally expected to.

Jenny: Absolutely.

Courtney: Yeah.

Jenny: That’s such a great story because again, she came with an awareness survive limiting beliefs, you know, am I too old, am I good enough, and then, working through that, and then look what happened. So many things open up, right? So that she gets opportunities, you know. Sounds like she’s got some great gigs and things like that. So-

Courtney: Yeah, and it’s not just about you know, because, the abundance, the money, the-the jobs, the things that you see out lately is really-really cool and really important. But it’s also important to recognize that she just felt more at home in her body, she felt more confident, she loved herself more and from loving herself more, she’s able to express that love to other people more. So, her relationships were impacted in a positive way and so, it-it’s more than just growing your mindset for your career and for your own. It’s-it’s about growing your mindset holistically for your whole life and-and so that’s the magic in that.

Jenny: Absolutely and I-I find when you do that inner work, you know, your outer world reflects that. But it’s not just, you know, the things around you in the physical part, it’s how you feel it but how you operate in that other world, relationships, too. So, I would imagine that beyond doing well in action or performing arts, as you said, you feel more confident, you are probably your relationships are more enhanced, you filled brighter and happier and lighter and all those other things too, right?

Courtney: Yeah! You just begin to live more aligned, begin to be happy and just love yourself and-and that’s what it’s all about.

Jenny: Right. Do you find that people in the performing arts have that awareness that they have limiting beliefs or it’s that something that you need to help them be aware that those limiting beliefs are holding themselves back?

Courtney: I think in the beginning, a lot of people, a lot of people begin to say these things out loud because other people are saying to them. So they’re like, “Oh! Well, this person doesn’t think they’re good enough to be an actor and they’re really good. So, like, I must not be good enough.” and so, you begin to say these things even if you don’t 100 percent believe them at first. But after you say something over and over again, you begin to believe it wholeheartedly. That’s why affirmations work, but they also work the opposite way. [laughs]

So, if you say things that you don’t actually want to believe out loud, you eventually believe them and so, that’s usually how it starts. But then, they begin to develop that mindset of “I’m not good enough, I’m too old, this industry isn’t for me, I’ll never make it here because the chances are one in a million.” and after a while of juggling multiple jobs, of not finding the success in their career that they’re looking for, they begin to kind of figure out that, that’s the belief behind it and-and some people do take action and seek help, whether that’s therapy coaching, finding a new circle to develop and help that mindset growth. But a lot of people just end up quitting and so, it is important to pay attention to that mindset and figure out what you actually truly want because if you want to be in this industry, then you really do need to-to work on that.

Jenny: Right, because it’s-it’s a long game you’re looking forward to, right?

Courtney: Right.

Jenny: It’s-it’s that, you know, that first awareness of-of, you know, getting performing arts, you know, role or something like that, that could lead to other ones. So, it’s not just, you know, getting a quick fix or a quick resolution. It’s looking for the long-term part of it too, right? And that self-awareness and self-yourselves is so critical, right? And you can see why people would quit because I’m not going to make it, right? So-

Courtney: Right! It-it’s really important and something that a lot of people don’t realize, is that the amount of work and the amount of time that people put into this career before they like, blow up, that’s a lot of people say, because you live in such a media culture, especially with social media, where people are like, this person got a million views on this TikTok and now they are famous. Well, traditionally, in the performing arts, there are people who work 10-20 years before they get their first number 1 hit, before they get that first pilot that really puts them on the map and so, if you have a mindset that’s not strong in order to endure those 10-20 years of auditioning, booking smaller jobs, not getting that recognition, then it’s going be really-really hard for you to build a long term career.

Jenny: Right. And I heard some of the success stories of some of the actors and things like that. Like I heard Jim Carrey talking about writing himself a check for 20 million dollars because he-he didn’t think he was going make it. Even there are Leonardo DiCaprio was saying, you know, he didn’t think he could do it. It was his mother that believed in him and things like that. So-

Courtney: Yeah, and going off the Leonardo DiCaprio story. [laughs] That’s why it’s so important to have people around you that do support you and they do lift you up and they do help you get through the hard times because you know, we are not in this alone. We-we need people around us who have the same mindset as us that help us grow and I call them expanders, you know. Surround yourself with people who are not only where you are, but surround yourself with people who are where you want to go, and even beyond that. Because you know, you are the sum of the 5 closest people to you.

So, if you spend your time surrounded by a bunch of actors, dancers, singers, whatever you want to be, who are-who are doing it, who are making that money, who are making those career moves, then you’re more likely to do the same thing is that, rather than, you know, spending time around people who just kind of like, do it as a hobby and don’t really want to push, then you’re going fall into that comfortability of not really pushing for your career.

Jenny: They, I would imagine that would bring you down them to, right? And there’s a bit of misery loves company too, right?

Courtney: Yeah! [laughs]

Jenny: So, you’re like, “Hey, if I can’t make it, you’re not going to be to make it either, right? So-

Courtney: Right.

Jenny: You want to, I love that you want to be around people that inspire you, that motivates you, that support you, that believe in you because you know, it-it takes a lot of failures, you know. You talk about baseball and how many, you know, I would say have, you know, before strikeouts, before they actually hit the base, right? It’s a very low success rate but there, look how successful they are. So-

Courtney: Right and, a lot of people think it’s hard in this industry. I don’t think it’s hard necessarily. I think you just, you need to have the right mind- mindset and you need to be willing to have patience [laughs] and grow because it’s not something that you’re going to get immediately and that’s where people get that like, “Oh, it’s a hard mindset.” because it-it doesn’t come immediately and then people give up. It-It’s not hard if you if you go into it knowing what you need to do in order to ensure the long game, you know.

Jenny: That makes perfect sense and I say, what a great mix of an offer that you have, with people you’ve been in the industry and-and been through something yourself, you can support other people. So-

Courtney: Yeah. Yeah, I love it.

Jenny: Yeah! This is wonderful. So, we’re coming to the end of the podcast. Do you have any final tips on how people may be in the performing arts, can help them get unstuck and shift their mindset?

Courtney: Yeah! You know, I think the most important thing you can do is spend time with yourself, meditate, journal, move, do whatever feels good for your body. But really-really get to know yourself and listen to yourself and your energy because if you don’t understand the way you work in the way that you-you want to move through like, then it’s going to be really hard for other people to understand that and work with you and help you grow. So, so make sure you, yes, spend time with yourself, meditate, journal, all of that. So-

Jenny: That’s a great tip. And it sounds like you with a pandemic, had that opportunity to self-reflect that you might not have had if things were different, right? So-

Courtney: Right and I’m very grateful. Although, the pandemic brought a lot of hardship and also brought a lot of good into the world and a lot of things that needed to be seen that we have couldn’t have seen before. So, I’m very grateful to have had that time to start my mindfulness practices like dancing, journaling, meditating, and all of that stuff.

Jenny: Yeah, mindfulness is wonderful. Yeah, awesome! Well, I’ve really enjoyed have you in this podcast.

Courtney: Yeah, thank you for having me. This has been great.

Jenny: Yeah, I know. It’s great having you. So, this is Jenny from Get Unstuck Podcast with Courtney Coffey from CourtneyCoffey.com. So, thanks again, Courtney.

Courtney: Thank you.

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